How to Live Rich No Matter How Much Money You Have


Transcript

- Do you want to be rich? Oh, you do? Great, keep watching. Hey guys. Well, in today's episode, we are going to talk about how to live rich. Yes, with your money, of course, but also in other areas of your life. We're going to talk to Dr. Les Parrott about to live rich in our relationships. We're also going to talk to someone who started, literally, with no money, but made an investment, managed it well, and now she's rich. But you'll see that doesn't just mean that she has a lot of money in her bank account. Her life was completely changed. But, let's talk tactically for just a second. How do you become rich? Like, build wealth in America today? People say there's like the secrets of the rich. Well, I have three secrets for you. Number one, don't have debt. Big secret, I know, I know. Seriously, your largest wealth building tool is your income and when your income comes in, and you can let your money work for you, like you can invest it, you can give it away, you can do things with your money, that's going to mathematically make you more money. Yeah, that's right. Like, when you put it in investments and the average growths on mutual fund averages 12% a year, oh yeah, that's making money called compound interest. Like, you can't go wrong with it. Like it's math. Like unless we have like Great Depression or something which hopefully does not happen, knock on wood. But, it's going to make you money over the long game. So not having debt, using your income to work for you. Number two, having a plan. Yes, being intentional, you guys. This is huge. This is true in every area of your life. If you wanna win in your marriage, that means you have to be intentional with your marriage. Like you're intentional on reading books, talking with your spouse, working on communication, going to counseling, whatever it is. Like you are working on your marriage, you're going to have a better marriage. Parenting, same thing. If you want to be a better parent, you're talking to other parents, you're learning, you're asking questions, you're reading books, like you're doing all the things to be a better parent. You have to be intentional. You have to happen to your life and that includes your money. I say it all the time but it's true. You're not gonna look in your bank account and be like oh wow, there's $5000 in there. That's kind of nice. No, that doesn't just happen. You have to have a plan and you have to work for it. Being intentional, that is how you build wealth. And last but not least, live on less than you make. Yeah, be saving. That's right, live on less than you make. Now all of this is not just my opinion, even though it's been working for people for over 20 years now, this plan. But, it's also fact. We did a study here at Ramsey Solutions for Chris Hogan's new book, The Everyday Millionaires, and it found that one third of millionaires never had a six figure household income in a single year. Okay, so like, these are not people that are making like $4 million annually, no, no, no. Some of them did not even have a six figure income, okay. But they had become millionaires because 92% of them said that they developed a long term plan with their money. They were intentional. 94% of millionaires said that they lived on less than what they made. Yeah, you guys, it's possible. It is so possible to still win with money and build wealth in today's world. But my goal for you is not just to win with money so you can like hoard it like Scrooge McDuck. That's right, we're still watching Christmas movies on Netflix. I mean, I'm like Mickey Mouse, Frosty the Snowman, like y'all, y'all have to get away. It's like, I love Christmas but oh my gosh. I'm like, Frosty has to melt. Like he has to melt some time, but Netflix, and yeah. Scrooge McDuck, it's all happening. But I see him all collecting his coins and I'm like no, no, no, that's not how you're supposed to do it. And something we say around here all the time is to live like no one else so later you can live and give like no one else. Because giving creates joy within you when you do it. And what also creates joy is learning to be happy with where you are and what you have. And at the end of the day, you guys, that's contentment. So we need to reframe what rich can mean because a way to live richly is to be content. And let me tell you how I learned this. So I started this habit in college, one of journaling. That's right. Little 18 year old Rachel, in her dorm room with her journals, just journaling away. I would journal prayers, what I was learning, thoughts, moments of drama, probably like everything went down in my journals in college. And I remember being a freshman and I had briefly met Winston Cruze and I remember meeting him for the first time and I was like oh wow, he's good looking and loves Jesus. Like, that's pretty cool. And I didn't really, like, you know, saw him and didn't really think much about it. Well, two weeks later, it was like the second week of classes, very early on my freshman year. I was walking into a restaurant with two girl friends and it's so funny, I like remember what I was wearing. I had like Nike gym shorts, sorority t-shirts, glasses with Croakies. If y'all remember the Croakies, you know, with the Chi Omega sign on the back. That's right, Chi O's. X and a horseshoe, Chi O. And I was walking in and out came Winston with two friends and we passed and he said, oh I've met you. Rachel, right? And I was like, yeah, yeah. He's like, cool, good to see you. Kept on walking and I thought. And my friends looked at me and they're like, who was that. I was like, that was Winston Cruze. And one of my friends was like, you need to date him. I was like, I'm trying. Like, gave it my best effort, gals, but it's not happening. Thought he was out of my league. He was like two years older than me, all that things. But I went back to my dorm room in the University of Tennessee and I wrote down, in my journal, which I still have, I said God, if I could marry a man like Winston Cruze, I would be so happy. And then the next day, he asked me out. Just kidding, it took about a year and a half and he finally asked me out. But we started dating, fell in love, got married, all the good things. But I look back at that moment specifically and then so many moments. Like, through college, through my career, up until now being a mom, and writing things down. You guys, it has such power. Because I can go back and I can learn how faithful God has been, how good He is, but also all the amazing things in my life and I've realized how rich my life is and how much I have grown. And again, I realize when you write these things down, you guys, you become grateful and part of being content is starting with gratitude. So I want to challenge you. I want you guys to do this. And you may think, Rachel, I don't have time to journal. Well here's an idea, how much time do you spend on social media each day? Oh, yeah, that's right. Guys, even our phones tell us how much time we spend. It's terrible. It's like disgusting, it makes my stomach turn when I see my numbers. I'm like no, no, no, no, no. So, instead of wasting your time focusing on other people's moments on social media, write down your own so they don't slip away. And I have something so exciting to help you with this. Dun da da da. This is the Contentment Journal by Rachel Cruze. If you're not aware. It's my new journal, I'm so excited. I mean, isn't it beautiful? Like, it shines, it's gold foil on the front. And you guys, I am like so pumped about this. So, what this is is it is a 90-day guided journal. It's gonna walk you through gratitude, humility, and contentment, 'cause our goal in our world today, you can be content, you guys. You can win not only with money but in so many areas of your life. And you'll go from feeling busy and distracted and unfulfilled to appreciating your life again and realize how full and fun it really is. So, click the link in the show notes to get your own copy of the Contentment Journal. I'm so excited about it. Alright, I went into my Facebook community and I found some questions that you guys had about contentment, so, I thought it'd be fun to answer those. Alright, Rachel asked "where is the balance between "being content and being gazelle intense "to get out of debt?" Uh, I would say Rachel, those aren't two separate mindsets. I mean, you can be content and not lazy or apathetic. That is not what contentment is, that is not complacency. You can still be active. Things can still be moving in your life and being content. So the fact that you're sacrificing and working for a better life to get out of debt, you can definitely still be content in that. Those are not one in the same. You can definitely have both, for sure. Wren asked "how do you balance liking nice things "and not finding joy in purchases?" That's a great question. I would say that money is going to buy you some fun things. Like, there's some fun stuff in the world, whether it's an item you're buying or maybe you're going out with friends to a great dinner. You're going on a nice vacation. Like, money can buy fun. But money will not buy you true true happiness because your stuff can not own you. We always say around here it's okay to have some nice stuff, just don't let your nice stuff have you. So I always make the argument in my mind like, okay, am I still going to be the same person. Is my character still gonna be intact? Who I am, my relationships, like how I am in life, if everything was stripped away from me. Like if I had to go, nothing too drastic, but if everything in my life had to go down like multiple notches in lifestyle, am I still gonna be who I am and I pray the answer is yes. Stuff can enhance your life and have fun with it, but it will not bring you true joy. 'Cause if that is your mindset, you will be a rat in a wheel for the rest of your life. So have some fun, enjoy the stuff, but it can't wrap up into your identity. That's where it gets dangerous. Charlotte asked "what is a good way to teach kids "about contentment? "It seems to be a constant struggle, particularly "with our young free spirit daughter." That was me. Okay, I would say this. When you're teaching kids about contentment, it's kind of the same philosophy as adults. You need to start giving. Like, start giving. Start serving. Start living your life with open hands because when you start to view other people and you start to have value on what other's bring in life and ways that you can give and serve, it's amazing the joy that is created in that. And that happens as an adult. Like if I start to get just like uh, like bad mood, all that. It's amazing, if you just serve, even your spouse. Like, if you just go and say hey, you know what, I'm gonna do something for someone. When you start to do that and go from selfish to selfless, joy starts to come and you start to be grateful, which leads to contentment. So if your kids are constantly discontent with what they have, go be like guys, we're gonna give away 10 things today to kids that need it. So let's pick it out together, let's do it. And force them to let go of some of their stuff and give it away, 'cause that is truly what is going to change their hearts. And I'm preaching to the choir, guys. It's the same for us adults as well. So learn to be givers. It breeds gratitude, which helps lead to contentment. Alright, stay tuned because coming up next is my good friend Dr. Les Parrott. He is a relationship expert, psychologist, author, speaker, all the things, and we are going to talk about how to have a rich relationship with your spouse. Purchasing a home is a huge financial decision and you're going to need a mortgage company you can trust. I recommend Churchill Mortgage. They treat you like family and will walk with you every step of the way. When starting the home buying process, you need to become a Churchill Certified Home Buyer and get your rate secured. These two steps get you further in the process and put you in a better position than a generic preapproval. With this, you have more negotiating power, are guarded against rate increases, and can close seven to 10 days sooner once you find your perfect home. So to get started, go to ChurchillMortgage.com/Rachel today. Well hey guys, we are backstage at our Money and Marriage event and I'm here with Dr. Les Parrott. We have been doing this event for how long now, Les?

- Like two and a half years.

- I know.

- We've saved so many people out there from disaster in their relationships.

- So many lives, we are here. But yeah, its been so fun to get to know you and travel around and talk about this subject that is so hard for people which is money and marriage. And so for this episode, we are talking all about how to enrich your life and enriching your marriage is something that's really, really crucial. You are a marriage expert and you actually--

- I'm just glad to hear you acknowledge that for once because that's not how you normally treat me.

- I'm usually like Les, help us. Dr. Les Parrott, the expert.

- I love the theme of this show, though, being rich. Because being rich is not all about money, right. You can be rich in friendship and certainly rich in marriage and that's what we're gonna talk about. And so you have done a ton in your past, but I think one of the most fascinating things is you helped create eHarmony.

- Well, Neil Warren, Neil Clark Warren's the founder of eHarmony--

- Yes, he was in all the commercials, I remember that guy.

- Yeah, everybody knows Neil and you can't go into a restaurant with everybody going hey, that's the guy.

- That's the love guy, the eHarmony guy.

- But yeah, we were with Neil and his wife Marilyn at the front end of that when it was an idea at the kitchen table and it's been an incredible thing to watch that company now, wow, 18, 19 years old. But yeah, we were a part of that ride. It was so fun.

- So fun. Okay, so, what would be some of your thoughts around when you hear the words enrich your marriage? What are some ideas that come to mind? What are things you think about with couples that you've met with with counseling, or on the road, and you know like okay, these couples, they have a rich marriage? What would you say?

- Well, one of the things, as a psychologist that we know about people that have life at the highest levels, that are, you know fulfilled. That are feeling like they're living the life, right. They're enriched. Rich on multiple fronts, is they have control in their lives and people that feel out of control with anything, money or health or anything else, anxiety goes up. And obviously they have to live in the present to be, live a life of contentment, you have to have some modicum of control of the things that you can control. Which is money, which is, you can do a lot about relationships, it's a two-sided thing but as a team you can do a lot to control that relationship. And so those are the things that when we start to look at the people at the top 10%, that's the thing that really stands out from the research. They got a handle on this thing.

- They have a handle on life, so what does that translate to like in a marriage, like when you see a couple, is it like they communicate well, they problem solve together, they laugh, like what are those components that you're like yes?

- It's all those usual suspects. Communication is the heartbeat of marriage, so you gotta get a lock on that. And managing conflict is critically important. In fact, we know that's one of the biggest predictors of success is marriage is whether you can navigate conflict, not whether you have it or not. Conflict's inevitable right, but here's the other thing. They're so intentional about their marriage, their relationship, so in fact, one of the things that I know that these couples do and certainly Leslie and I do this, is that they have a weekly powwow. They have a weekly meeting, just like a business would or a board would have a meeting, they kind of have a time where they, let's look at the week ahead, what are we gonna do. And it's not just all about logistics and how about babysitters, not that. It's like how do we wanna feel and look by the time we get seven days away from here. More importantly, they do that monthly and yearly. There's kind of a rhythm to it. And it's so interesting to me, Rachel, so many couples discover it wasn't the big trips that they planned, the most expensive weekend they had, it was just these kind of things they stumbled into. Like Leslie, my wife, said remember that time we walked around Green Lake in Seattle and it was raining and we didn't even have jackets but we just walked around it and it was just like we had the best talk about our future and about our two boys and that's like what really stood out. And you wouldn't plan on that, right. You don't go hey, let's go have a walk when it's, you know.

- Yeah, without jackets on.

- But those things happen and so they look back on that and they build on that kind of momentum in their relationship. So it's intentionality, that's the word. Intentionality.

- Yes, that's so good. 'Cause it's true even in the money space. Like, we say people that succeed with their money, they're intentional. They do it on purpose and the same is true with your marriage.

- And you've heard me say a million times, you know, newlyweds, you know, we tell them choose your ruts carefully 'cause you're gonna be in them for a long time. Right?

- Yes.

- But couples at any age or stage can carve a new groove into their relationship with new habits, healthy habits, and that's what enriches your relationship. That's what makes you rich in marriage.

- That's good. Okay, what are like the top two habits in mind? Like, what are things that couples can be doing?

- So it's gonna be different for every couple, but I'll give you a few examples. So for Leslie and me, it's that weekly time, that's part of the deal, but also having a date night. And this sounds like, well, yeah, everybody says that. Have a date night. Here's what most people don't understand about that. It's not just going out for a movie and dinner, that's great, if that's what you can do, do it. But it's the novel things that you do as a couple, especially if you two have been married a few years, that brings back the shower of neurochemicals that you experience when you were first falling in love.

- So when you are talking to couples, what do you find are reasons why they are dissatisfied in their marriage?

- Well, in the big picture, it's kind of the opposite right. They don't have control of their lives, let alone their marriage, so they're spinning out of control financially and otherwise. If you could take an x-ray of your marriage, you know, what would it reveal? That's what we want to know. Because awareness is curative. You know, we psychologists say that all the time. Awareness is curative. You could only change something that you are aware of. That kind of awareness is the beginning of getting control of your life and going down the path that you want to go on, not just where the winds happen to take you.

- Yeah, that's so good, I love that. Okay, so, tonight's all about money and marriage, star event, and on the show we always talk about money. And we talk about marriage and money because again, it's important to be on the same page. So, as a psychologist, what would you say are like the top two things to get people on the same page when it comes to their money?

- So, number one, from my perspective is understand your money history. In other words, go back and understand what money was like in your home growing up. And then number two, understand your money type or style. And so as you know, we have this assessment. It's called Better Love and there's a whole page on money that looks at your money type and understanding that is huge. And then it gets down to the tactics. This is what you are an expert at, where you begin to go okay, let's look at things and the debt and the snowball, all that stuff.

- Yep, yep, so good, so good. Well. Isn't Les great? I love doing our money and marriage events together, they're so fun. And click the link in the show notes because we might be coming to a city near you. Alright, now I want to talk about how to be rich in your entire life and this next guest has an incredible story. You guys, she took $5 and turned it into $10 million and it all started with a cupcake. That's right, you heard me right. So take a look at her story.

- I remember feeling desperate and broken and hopeless and feeling like why is it that everybody else can make it and we can't. I was a stay at home mom drowning in debt and brokenness, losing everything that we had. Figuring out how to make it was what my life was about to depend on. I was listening to the Dave Ramsey show and I heard people screaming on the show we're debt free. And I wanted that. And I heard him telling people that they could have a bake sale and I thought what if you had a bake sale every single day. But I didn't know how to bake. But I had a secret weapon, it was my grandmother. And I said grandma look, I need a recipe. It was the first successful thing that I ever baked and it was when my neighbor across the street, she said I wanna order cupcakes for all of my clients. It was gonna be like 600 cupcakes. All I had was $5 left and I hadn't even fed the family and we were a family of eight. But I wanted to do something different 'cause you know, I was tired of being crazy, expecting a different result. And I marched myself out that door and I bought everything that I could buy with that $5. And I started baking. I turned that $5 into $60 that day. And I turned that $60 into $600 by the end of the week. And I've turned that $600 into over $10 million in sales. I opened this bakery with a Kitchenaid mixer and a dorm sized refrigerator because that's what I could afford to do. And now that the Cupcake Collection is over five million cupcakes sold. The journey of 1000 miles begins with one step. And it's in that one step forward that you begin to find that everything else begins to take its shape. You just have to do what you can do. I'm going to live like it depends on God, but I'm gonna work like it depends on me.

- Alright Mignon, thanks for coming in here, chatting with me. Your story is just, it's phenomenal. Can you believe you're like living your life? Like when you look back on your story, like, does it still amaze you?

- It does amaze me. Someone asked me just yesterday if I surprised myself and I said no. I don't surprise myself. I fully think I'm capable of everything that I set my mind to, but I think that we think these things happen to other people. They don't actually happen to us. And that's what I want my platform in life to be. I will be transparent and I will be authentic and you can know my business so that you too can know what you can do if you believe.

- So good, okay. 'Cause winning with money obviously isn't just to win with money to have money, right. It is about more than that and you are such a joyful person and money doesn't always equal joy. Like, it doesn't, it equals fun sometimes, right. Money can buy some fun, but doesn't, it doesn't reassure you that you're going to have a joyful life. But you do.

- I could have chosen to go a different way. When God put this Cupcake Collection on my heart, he very clearly said to me Mignon, I'm done playing with you. I've given you all these ideas and you start and you never finish anything. This is your last opportunity. Do it and live or don't and just die.

- So like what were those other chances that you didn't take?

- I mean, I had a lot of ideas. I was a child that I was always coming up with something new and my mom would be like stick to something. And that, I learned later, was also a gift. It was a gift to have ideas. But I would try to make a business out of so many things. I'd get the business cards made, tell everybody I was gonna do it, journal about it, and then two weeks later when you ask me about it, oh I got something else. I'm not doing that anymore. And then scared to go out and sort of hustle for my business.

- That's what I was gonna ask. So why didn't those succeed?

- Yeah, I was scared to go out and hustle for my business. When it came to the Cupcake Collection, I would be peeking out of the blinds, trying to see if anybody was gonna walk down my street so I could bombard them with hey, do you want to taste this? I mean, when you are truly hungry and you know that you're standing before life and death and you want to live and you want to live more abundantly, you will do what it takes in order to live. Hunger will make you do some amazing and incredible things if you let it. And listening to Dave Ramsey on the radio, I was hearing people scream we're debt free. And I felt that, I felt them through the radio and I wanted that. I wanted to be able to sleep and know that nobody, I didn't have to get up. Somebody called me today, one of those robocalls and they said we called to help you on some debt relief. I said sorry, I don't have any debt.

- I get those too and I'm like, yeah, I don't think this is correct. That's so good. So you mentioned journaling. Okay, I wanna know, do you love to journal? What's like, what's your take on that?

- I have a journal by the side of my bed and if my purse is anywhere around here, there is a journal on the inside that goes with me everywhere I go. Ideas only last for 30 seconds unless you ink them. Otherwise you know, and that's a scientific fact.

- Oh, I didn't know that. That's good. So what's the power for you, when you write things in your journal and you go back, let's say, just 12 months and you reread the past year, like what does that do for you? Oh my gosh, so, I am rereading right now maybe 15 or 20 years.

- Oh wow.

- Because I'm writing my story now. And I've gone back to the day that I asked God to give me something that could belong to me. Write your prayers down to God, because you need to know how to be thankful and pray your gratitude back to him.

- I love that. So the giving part of your life is huge. You've given in so many ways. Not only financially, but for opportunities for people and your kids, like, tell me about that part of your life.

- I'm so excited to have the opportunity to open up my space for other people. There's not a lot for me to keep. And so that's one of the ways in which I'm expanding my business by letting other people have an opportunity to start business with the Cupcake Collection. I remember standing in the shower and God said open up your hands and try to catch the drops. And no matter how much you tried to hold in your hand, you can cup your hands as tight as you can, you can not hold water in your hands except for whatever goes into the palm. And that's what I learned. All that I could keep was whatever I could hold. Everything else was to pass through me and I was supposed to let that fall on other people. And so that's what I'm doing with my life now.

- That's incredible. So someone hearing your story who's maybe living paycheck to paycheck, they may be as of an extreme situation as you were all those years ago, maybe not as bad, but they're just still in this place and they're like man, all this bad stuff has happened to me. Why has the world done this to me? And it's almost a victim like mentality. What would you say to someone that changed your life of taking control over your life?

- I think that's the key. You take control. You also take responsibility for the situations that you place yourself in. I love to use the analogy that at one point, none of us could walk. At one point, none of us could talk. But some of us women can run in a good pair of high heels. That means that at some point--

- Amen sister. Speaking of high heels, show them Mignon, show them.

- Yes.

- That's right, that's right. We can take off running, I believe it.

- But at some point you saw someone doing that. And you thought, I can do that too. And so you tried it. And it hurt when you fell, but it didn't stop us from trying again. But the difference is is that back then everyone was telling you that you could. Come on, you can do it. Come on baby. Someone was cheering you on. And there's no one cheering now. We don't have to be victims in our own situations. But sometimes we get so caught up in our brokenness and we think that oh because I'm broken, I can't do anything. But it is in your brokenness that your potential becomes released.

- So good. That's hope, I mean, that's it. What you're spreading is not just the joy, but the hope of taking responsibility and seizing the opportunity.

- I think people don't expect that it's gonna be hard.

- Oh gosh, yeah.

- You know, it's hard.

- That's right.

- It's hard for successful people, it's still hard. And if it wasn't hard--

- Everyone would be doing it.

- Yeah, it's a work and work is required of all of us.

- Yeah, absolutely. Amazing. And your story and everything that you're doing with your life, I mean, you just radiate joy. And you have a really rich life in many aspects and so you added so much, so much to the show. And I know you gave people out there watching, again, the hope and the encouragement that they can change their lives and live a rich life as well.

- Thank you, I hope so.

- Thank you so much for being on, seriously. I so appreciate it.

- Thank you.

- Oh, I just love Mignon, you guys. Not only is she building this incredible business, but she's leaving a legacy and she loves to journal. I love that. She is enriching her family's life and that's exactly what I want you to do. And planning for the future, like she is doing, is so important and one way you can do this is making sure that you have term life insurance. While nothing will replace you, term life insurance allows your family to really be taken care of. Personally, it gives me such peace of mind knowing that if something were to happen to Winston or myself, that our family would not have to worry about money. That is why we use Zander Insurance. All it takes is a simple phone call or a visit to their website. Now we recommend getting a policy that's 10 to 12 times your annual income to make sure your needs are covered. And Zander, you guys, they do all the work for you. They shop around, they find you the best rates and the policy that's right for your family. So go to Zander.com to get started today. If you ever thought about starting your own business, like Mignon, my friend Christie Wright helps women making money doing what they love. And I was able to interview her and although you won't see it here on the video, go check out the podcast. That's right, the Rachel Cruze Show podcast. And hear the interview on this episode. So today was so much fun. We covered so many things and to get everything that we covered in today's episode, including my new Contentment Journal, make sure you pick one up. I'm so excited. Be sure to click the link in the show notes. Alright, a big thanks to Mignon and Les for coming on and to you guys for submitting some questions. And remember to take control of your money and create a life you love.