Love Your Mom Life
I meet moms all across the country who are working hard, making sacrifices, and doing their absolute best to raise good kids who become great adults. And in today’s show, I talk to a few moms who are doing just that.
Moms, you NEED term life insurance to protect your family.
Get Sharon Ramsey’s famous fajitas and salsa recipes from this episode:
Love Your Life, Not Theirs (Hardcover)
Love Your Life, Not Theirs teaches you seven healthy money habits to help you start living the life YOU want. Learn how to escape the comparison trap and rediscover what you value most!
Smart Money Smart Kids (Hardcover)
Smart Money Smart Kids teaches parents how to raise money-smart kids in a debt-filled world. Learn how to teach your children the basics of working, spending, saving and giving in a fun way!
Have you ever come across the hashtag #momlife on Instagram?
Maybe you saw it in the caption below a picture of a baby girl cuddling up to her mom, or a photo of a smiling family . . . or a video of a toddler running naked through the house as he unravels a roll of toilet paper.
Mom life, am I right?
When you’re a mom, you feel all the feelings: total joy, pride and love, right alongside exhaustion, worry and defeat.
The challenges of being a mom can wear you down. But don’t worry! We’re here to build you up! Today’s show is for anyone who is a mom, knows a mom, or wants to be a mom. Get ready to be encouraged—and to learn how we can all encourage each other better.
Moms Make the World Go ’Round
When I became a mom for the first time, something happened. I suddenly had the urge to go up to all the other moms in my life—okay, even random moms walking around Target—and say, “You’re amazing! I didn’t see it before, but now I totally get it. You’re so awesome!”
And it’s true, right? Moms are the real bomb dot com. The fact that I just used that phrase totally gives me away as a mom. I don’t know what the cool kids are saying these days!
But I do know this: I meet moms all across the country who are working hard, making sacrifices, and doing their absolute best to raise good kids who become great adults. And in today’s show, I talk to a few moms who are doing just that.
How One Mom Stopped Spending Money and Became Debt-Free
Here on the set of The Rachel Cruze Show, you can count on one thing: We’re always laughing. We honestly have such a great time together.
It’s really similar to the atmosphere I saw growing up—and continue to see today—around The Dave Ramsey Show. (For any new people out there, Dave is my dad!) I’d see people cracking up and celebrating all the time. But I also saw lots of tears; happy tears whenever someone did their debt-free scream.
We at Ramsey Solutions know that becoming debt-free is no small task, so we love to celebrate people who work hard and make it happen! And almost every day, we have the opportunity to do just that because of The Dave Ramsey Show.
People who have worked to become debt-free travel to our office from all over the country to share their stories and celebrate reaching their goal. Surrounded by friends, family, and Ramsey Solutions team members, they shout, “WE’RE DEBT-FREE!” The crowd cheers, and happy tears are often shed. (I’ve watched these conversations and debt-free screams for years, and I still cry every single time.)
As you guys know, I’m all about helping you learn to love your life—especially your mom life! And a big part of that is taking control of your money instead of letting it control you.
I encourage you to get out of debt as quickly as possible so you can start putting your hard-earned money toward more important (and more fun!) things.
What’s a debt-free scream?
You can pay off debt regardless of your mom-life circumstances. Let’s take a look at Jennifer’s story:
Jennifer Raisbeck recently visited to do her debt-free scream, and I knew right away that I wanted to have her on the show. You guys, this woman is incredible!
Jennifer, a single mom raising three kids, paid off $12,000 in one year. You read that right! ONE YEAR! She conquered $12,000 of debt in 12 months all by herself. Amazing.
In today’s episode, Jennifer shares:
• The unique financial challenges she faces as a single mom.
• The moment she knew she had to change her financial situation.
• Her mom guilt related to her money decisions.
• The lessons she learned about herself in the process of becoming debt-free.
Jennifer’s story is packed with wisdom and advice. I learned so much from her, and I know you will too!
Pay Off Your Debt Fast With the Debt Snowball Method
Want to pay off debt like Jennifer did? The debt snowball method is a simple and proven way to make it happen. In fact, researchers call this approach the most effective and motivating way to pay off debt!(1) Here’s how it works:
1. List your debts from smallest to largest (except your mortgage) regardless of the interest rate.
2. Throw any extra money you have at the smallest debt while continuing to make minimum payments on all other debts.
3. As soon you pay off the first debt, roll the money from that payment into the next smallest debt. Now you’re really gaining momentum!
4. Keep at it until you’re debt-free!
The debt snowball gives you intense focus and keeps you motivated as you work toward your goal. And guess what? The average family using this plan reaches their goal in just 18 to 24 months. You can do it!
And when you send that last payment, give me a shout on Facebook. I want to hear all about your journey to becoming debt-free!
Let’s Have a Mom-to-Mom Moment
As a mom, when it comes to taking care of my kids, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do. If an idea crosses my mind and I think it might help my little ones, I’ll give it a try. I know a lot of you would probably say the same!
The key here, though, is if it crosses my mind. One thing no mom wants to think about—including me!—is the possibility of not being around to care for her kids.
Not a fun topic, I know—but such a necessary one!
Preparing for the possibility of your death isn’t morbid. It’s loving. You can make sure your family will be taken care of long after you’re gone by getting term life insurance.
The basics of life insurance for moms:
I often talk with women who just aren’t sure how or where to get started. In terms of the amount of term life insurance you need, here’s what to aim for:
• Working moms need 10 to 12 times their annual income.
• Stay-at-home moms need however much money it would take to keep the home operating normally.
My personal life insurance recommendation:
If you’re looking for someone to walk you through the life insurance process from start to finish, check out Zander Insurance. Winston and I love Zander, and I’m confident you will too!
Zander will work with you to find the best option for your family and customize the pricing to your specific needs. You can get a quote today by going to zander.com.
We’ve Got a Celebrity Chef in the Kitchen!
Exciting news, people! Sharon Ramsey, my mom and the first celebrity chef I ever knew, joins me in the kitchen for today’s episode.
We’re whipping up one of her classic recipes with a twist. We’re taking her beef fajitas from the slow cooker to the instant pot. Because . . . #momlife.
I love pretty much everything my mom makes, but this one’s my favorite. She’s a great cook and super sweet, so she agreed to let me share the recipe with you guys!
How Some of My Favorite Moms Do Mom Life
Do you ever find yourself caught in a comparison trap with other moms?
It’s so easy to watch other moms at the park or scroll through Instagram and think, I’ll never measure up. I just don’t have what it takes to be THAT kind of mom.
In today’s show, we bust the mom myth that there’s a perfect way of doing things. Nope. A good mom loves her children and gives them her personal best. After all, she’s the one who was chosen to raise those specific kids.
To get perspective on this truth, I gather with a few of my friends who are fellow moms to talk about what makes us unique as parents—and why those differences are totally okay. You’ll hear from:
• Mary Ellen, a stay-at-home mom
• Cameron, a part-time working mom
• Christy, a full-time working mom
Is mom-life balance a real thing?
We also chat about envy, guilt and fear—three big obstacles that stand in the way of a healthy mom life.
Plus, we wonder if a mom really can “have it all.” That’s the big mom-life debate, right? We’re all working to reach some ideal of motherhood that, let’s be honest, doesn’t exist.
Thankfully, my good friend Christy Wright offers some serious wisdom regarding this topic in her article The Truth About Work-Life Balance. Click that link to learn what our culture gets wrong about the “having it all” mentality, plus five practical ways you can get pretty darn close.
4 things every mom should do:
Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, here are four things every mom needs to do:
1. Find a group of girlfriends. Friends can encourage you when you’re down, celebrate with you when you win, and offer perspective (“What a relief! My kid’s not the only one who does that!”). And don’t worry about finding moms who are just like you. Instead, look for moms who are fun to be around and share your values.
2. Keep a gratitude journal. Mom life is the very definition of living like you’re on a roller coaster. The highs can be so high, but the lows can be so, so low. In your gratitude journal, make note of the good moments. When you’re struggling to tap into the warm-and-fuzzy feelings, your gratitude journal can serve as a helpful reminder.
3. Create a list of things that fuel you. Spend some time thinking about activities that energize you, as well as activities that drain you. Write those things down and prioritize your life accordingly. Maybe you’ll spend a little less time scrolling through Instagram or watching Netflix, and a little more time on your hobbies or with people you love.
4. Make sure you have term life insurance. I know! We talked about this already! But I’m saying it again because it’s that important. A loving mom takes care of her children even after she’s gone—and this is the best way you can do that! You can reach out to Zander Insurance for a quote today.
She Works Hard Saving Money
I’m so proud of you guys! Each week we read tons of stories shared by all of you on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram with the hashtag #sheworkshardsavingmoney. And I have to say, they just keep getting better and better!
Here are a couple of my favorites from today’s show:
“Saving for a trip to London and Paris in May.” — Megan
“Right after Christmas we bought a 2017 Subaru Outback for cash!” — Michelle
These ladies are proof that taking control of your money can be so much fun!
Get Sharon Ramsey’s famous fajitas and salsa recipes from this episode:
– It’s almost Mother’s Day, and being a mom is wonderful, fulfilling, and let’s face it, between you and me, at times, a little challenging. It can wear you out, but don’t worry. We are here to build you up. So if you are a mom, know a mom, want to be a mom, then this episode of the Rachel Cruze show is for you. Becoming a mom has taught me a lot of things, and has given me an even greater appreciation for all moms. Being a mom has some of the sweetest moments that you can ever imagine. But it also has some of the craziest moments. I mean, have you been there moms? Do you know? Well, you’ll appreciate this story. I was planning Christmas. You know, this is kind of out of season, but last Christmas this was Amelia’s first Christmas where she actually understood what was going on. And I don’t know your feelings toward Santa Claus, some people don’t do Santa at all, some people love Santa. Well, I love Santa. Like, obsessed with Santa Claus and all the things. Elf on the Shelf, we’re gonna bake cookies, leave out reindeer food, I mean, I love it. Don’t judge, but I do. I love it all. So Amelia, I’m telling her, “Oh my gosh, Santa is gonna come. “He’s gonna bring you some presents and it’s so fun. “And we love Jesus, and it’s Jesus’ birthday, of course. “But, Santa’s gonna be here, “and it’s gonna be really exciting.” And so Christmas Eve came, and we put out all the toys when she went to bed, and I was so excited for her to get up because she was talking about Santa. Well, at about 2:00 a.m., on the monitor, we hear crying and yelling for daddy and mommy, and I was like, “What?” So Winston went up, came back down probably ten minutes later, and he was like “She threw up.” And I was like “She threw up?” Amelia has never thrown up. I’ve never had a child who’s thrown up before. Just remember that. So I go back, and I’m like, “Oh my gosh, what do we do?” And he was like, “Well, I changed her sheets, she’s fine.” And I was like, “Okay.” Within 30 minutes, crying again. I go up there, and there’s throw up again, and I was like, “Oh my gosh, no!” So we take it off. So I only have two sheets, right? So now my child has no sheets, and I was like, “I don’t know what to do.” And so I said, “Okay, well I’ll just take her “in the guest bedroom and I’ll sleep with her “in the bed and it’ll be fine.” So I’m walking out and I’m trying to shield her eyes ’cause you can see down to our living room, so I don’t want her to see the presents. I’m still hanging onto this idea that Santa is still gonna be a thing, right. So I’m in bed with her, and it’s 3:00 a.m. I mean we’re just exhausted. And she’s talking and playing. And then she, I remember she said, “Oh, mommy, my stomach.” And I was like, “Oh gosh, you okay, you okay?” And she was like, “Uh.” And I was like, “Oh my gosh, I don’t have a trash can. “I forgot you had to have a trash can in these moments. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” And so she got sick on the side of the bed and I was like, “Man, oh no.” I was like, “It’s okay, Amelia, everything’s fine. “Drink this water. “Do you need gum? “I don’t know, I don’t know what to do.” So, then she’s sitting there, and I remember, like 10 minutes later, she was like, and I looked at her in all seriousness and I said “you have the hiccups, “you just have the hiccups, it’s the hiccups.” It was not the hiccups. She was gagging. So, then I caught some in my hands, and I’m trying to get off the, I mean, you guys, it was a hot mess, like it was a disaster. And the whole next day, she was feeling horrible. She wasn’t even excited about the gifts. And it was just this moment of thinking as a mom, I don’t know if you’ve had this moment, where I was like “I don’t know what I’m doing.” Like, I need my mom. There’s supposed to be an adult here, taking care of this situation, and I’m the adult and I don’t know what I’m doing. So, sometimes, mom life, again, can be wonderful, and at times, it’s just crazy. But, all of it together, it’s such an important role and something that I do love so much. So, for this episode, you moms out there, we wanna celebrate you. And so, what I’m gonna do is talk to all types of moms here on the show today. We’re gonna be in the kitchen with my mom, Sharon Ramsey, and we’re gonna take one of her classic crockpot recipes and try it in the InstantPot. And some of my best friends are gonna stop by. One who is a full-time mom, one who works part-time and one who is a full-time working mom. But first, I wanna start off with someone who is absolutely incredible. Jennifer Raisbeck is a single mom who came to Ramsey Solutions here at the office to do her debt free screen. She paid off 12,000 dollars in a year. Amazing. And today, she is taking the time out of her day to skype in, from work, on her lunch break. So, I’m so excited, cause I think we all can learn something from her. So, Jennifer, thank you so much for being here.
– Of course, thank you for having me Rachel. I’m very excited.
– Good, well I love your whole story. So, just give us an overview, what were some of the financial challenges that you were facing being a single mom?
– Of course, I mean, doing everything on a single income makes it more difficult. I really had to watch my budget. I don’t have anybody else’s income to fall back on.
– Absolutely. So, budgeting. That was a huge part of you winning. So, how did you do that? Like, tactically speaking, if somebody is out there and they’re like “I need to get on a budget,” what did you do?
– I would sit down, do my budget, carry over what I could, and then when I would get paid every two weeks, I would take a look at what would need to get paid from that paycheck for the next two weeks, and write that down, and then look at if there was anything left over, was there something maybe additional I could pay that didn’t need to be paid till later in the month.
– Okay, so, I wanna know for you, what was the moment that you decided to change things?
– I kinda just got to the point that I was like “this is ridiculous, I just wanna get it done, “I don’t wanna have to deal with it anymore.” And once I started really watching Dave’s show on YouTube every single day, and getting into a community there, and then reading his book, and then especially reading your guy’s book that you guys did together, I was just like, this, this is just, I just don’t wanna do this anymore and I wanna teach my kids a better way, because I was taught you always have to have credit. Credit’s fine. You know what I mean? My mom got me a store credit card when I was 16 to help build my credit. I was just raised that way. And I just decided that I just didn’t wanna do it anymore. I didn’t want to have worry about it.
– So for all moms out there, as you know, you’re trying to get your budget intact, sacrificing lifestyle, getting out of debt, all of it. Did you deal with any of the mom guilt that I think every mom faces at some point in life, but specifically on this journey?
– Absolutely. I mean, I think that as moms, especially maybe single parents, single moms or single dads, we kind of want to sometimes give our kids things that maybe we didn’t have, or, even more so for me, it’s experiences. I really wanna be able to take my kids on vacation. I really wanna be able to go fun places with them, because I think those kind of memories are really important, and I didn’t have a lot of that when I was growing up. So, yeah, I struggle with that. And it’s especially hard when the school that your kids go to and the friends that they’re around have two parent families. I heard a lot of “well, how come we can’t do this” or “can we go do this?” And, your kids don’t choose to be raised in a family where there’s only one parent. So, it can be really hard to tell them no, we can’t do that or I can’t afford it because I’m the only one, because to them, it wasn’t their choice to have to be in a family with only one parent. So, absolutely, I struggle with that. But I know, at the end of the day, the reasons why I did what I did is because I wanna teach them how to live without debt and that it’s okay to wait for things that you really, really want. I’m the only one that they can depend on to make sure things are taken care of.
– [Rachel] Yeah, it’s sad.
– I have to really keep that in the back of my head.
– But you really are, I mean, you’re just doing such an incredible job. I mean, it really is so powerful to hear your story and what you’ve walked through because not only are they having to learn, your kids, the word no at times, but the legacy that you’re leaving them. And they won’t grow up like you did having that store credit card at 16 and it becoming a normal way. Their normal will be freedom from this point on and that’s such, such a remarkable thing. So, for you, what was the biggest thing that you learned about yourself while you were going through this?
– That I can really do anything that I put my mind to. And that you don’t have to have a large income in order to be successful financially. That it really comes down to living below your means and making things priority. Right now, I think I struggle with wanting to save for a lot of different things. So, I’m even struggling with that right now. I have to make sure that I prioritize things and I know that I can do it. It might take me longer than somebody else that has two incomes or even a single person with a large income. It might take longer, but focusing, doing things slow, steady, I’ll get there, I just have to be patient, and give yourself maybe little rewards along the way just for accomplishing the goal.
– Yeah, absolutely. I was gonna ask you what piece of advice you’d give someone who’s in your situation, but you just answered it perfectly. I mean, seriously, oh my gosh, that’s it. You have to live below your means, you have to save up, give yourself some rewards along the way to say that you can do it. Cause it’s a marathon, it’s not a sprint. So, so great. I mean, seriously Jennifer, thank you so, so much.
– Thank you.
– for coming on and I’m just so proud to know you and to hear your story and all the work that you’ve done.
– Thank you
– Thank you so much. Gosh, what an amazing story. Jennifer is an inspiration and a reminder of how much moms matter. And so, I want to take a second and have a mom to mom moment. Moms, I know it’s not the most fun topic to talk about, but you need to make sure you’re taking care of yourself and your family. And one of the ways you can do that, is to get term life insurance. Again, I know it isn’t a light-hearted topic, but it is needed so you can make sure your family would be okay god-forbid, if something ever happens. I hear all the time from people that say they don’t know where to start or even how much coverage they need. So, if you work outside the home, like me, you’ll need 10 to 12 times your income. And if you’re a stay-at-home mom like some of my friends you’ll meet later, you’ll need to look at what it would take to replace everything you do around your household to keep it going. Winston and I personally use and recommend Zander Insurance and we love them. They are so on top of everything and they do great work to find the best options and prices, customized to your family’s needs. So, go to zander.com or click the link in the description and get a quote today. You can also find out more at my website, under Rachel recommends. So, now we’re gonna head into the kitchen, with the first celebrity chef I ever knew, my mom, Sharon Ramsey. And we’re gonna make one of her famous crock pot recipes in an Instant Pot.
– I don’t know what an Instant Pot is.
– They say if you’re lazy, it’s a good thing to have.
– We actually use one all the time.
– So, I thought on this episode, it would be so fun to bring in my mom.
– Thank you.
– Sharon Ramsey to help us cook. Because mom, you’re like one of the best cooks out there. Really.
– You grew up always cooking Rachel.
– I know.
– Always cooking.
– She cooked all the time. She grew up on a farm.
– I did.
– What did you do?
– It was all, everything was fresh,
– True or false, did you churn butter ever in your life?
– True or false, did you churn butter?
– True, true, true.
– I think that’s so
– good butter though, it was good butter.
– I think that’s so fun. I think that’s so fun. Okay, so I’ll just say, you grew up cooking,
– You cooked with us growing up
– And one of your favorite things was the crock pot.
– Yes. So, what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna take one of your recipes that you cooked for us growing up that was in the crock pot, and we’re gonna put it in this thing, which is called,
– Oh, what is this?
– An Instant Pot. You used one of these before?
– No, but I’ve heard so many people talk about them. I don’t have one, so I’m excited .
– Me too, and I don’t even know how
– What did you do?
– [Rachel] I don’t know.
– What do you think it is?
– Let’s lift up the lid, okay.
– Does it talk?
– I don’t know.
– It sings to you though. So, anyways, oh my gosh, it’s stressing me out. And apparently, this like blows up or something.
– No, it’s kind of like a pressure cooker. I grew up with pressure cookers.
– So you’re gonna be better at this than me. So, actually your crock pot, we have cooking back there, the recipe which is fun. So, instead of taking six hours, apparently, it takes like an instant to cook in the Instant Pot. Okay, so what are you gonna cook for us?
– This is going to be beef fajitas and on a cold winter night, or even in the summer, it’s something that is quick, it’s easy, pop it in the Instant Pot.
– Okay, so what do we start with?
– Okay, grab the meat.
– So the first thing we need to do,
– Oh and it’s raw.
– Can I give you a little tip about meat?
– Yes, that’s gross.
– Okay, if this were me, and I know people don’t always do this, but I would actually take this over to the stove and I would sear it in a frying pan, because,
– Wow, getting real.
– Rachel, surely you know how to do that. You would just put it, maybe for, I don’t know, about a minute and a half on each side, just kind of browns it.
– Actually, I hear that the Instant Pot sears it for you,
– Or you can do it or something someone’s told me. But I don’t really know how that works, that stresses me out. So, we’re not doing that. So, use that.
– Okay, so we’re just going to put it in the Instant Pot.
– I’ll take this from you. Alright, what do we do next?
– Next, and as you know Rachel, what is one of my most famous sayings? In the kitchen?
– Oh, you always say “open up your spice cabinet.” Is that it?
– Anytime you’re cooking, seriously, just open up your cabinets, your spice all you have to do is just grab whatever and just use it all
– see, until a non-cook like me, “oh mom, how did you make this” “Just open up your cabinet, just put something” I’m like, “I don’t know” I don’t even know how much you’re using, so that was salt.
– That was all salt and garlic.
– Garlic, okay.
– Pepper, well, that’s pepper.
– [Rachel] Pepper, pepper, pepper.
– And Rachel, you know I never measure, right?
– I know, so that stresses me out.
– Honestly, who’s gonna know?
– Well, the people eating it, if they’re like, oh gosh, they can’t even breathe cause I put in siracha sauce, or
– and this is chili powder,
– Chili powder, okay
– which makes it really spicy.
– Is that like a lot?
– That’s good. And then, we have a can of Rotel tomatoes, which are yummy
– [Rachel] Yes.
– And green chilis.
– Okay, I know what those are.
– And then, this is our dried onion, beefy onion.
– Okay, so this is what’s funny to me. Is that this is kind of gross to me.
– I don’t know.
– You know another thing you can use this in
– [Rachel] What?
– that is so good?
– If you’re gonna grill hamburgers, you just open up a pack.
– Does it stress you out? Cause you’re kind of an organic, healthy eater.
– True, I hardly shop inside the aisles.
– I’m always on the outside.
– But you do this just cause it tastes good.
– Not very often. So, we’ll put it in.
– Yes, no special way
– As long as the Instant Pot likes it.
– Well, and it may not. I don’t know, I don’t know what’s gonna happen.
– A cup of water. We almost forgot about our onion, Rachel.
– Oh yes.
– We have to dice our onion, okay? You know onions is something I love to use because it adds a lot of spice.
– So, what are your other go-to foods that you’re like, when your cooking, always use, you use a lot of spices.
– Mm-hmm. A lot of Italian, ooh that’s a strong onion, a lot of Italian seasonings, and I usually try, in the spring, I try to always plant a little herb garden so everything’s fresh.
– Oh geez, don’t you have some time on your hands.
– One day Rachel.
– Actually, I did. We did plant herbs, um,
– Winston did, didn’t he?
– Yeah, in a pot
– Yeah, Winston did.
– And it was great. And we had rosemary and different things.
– This is also something that I really hardly ever use.
– I know, I saw this in the recipe, I was like “mom, you use Cream of mushroom.” which is fine, but I feel like Cream of anything is like,
– I know, seriously.
– But you’re fine with it.
– It’s okay for something like this because it makes it thick. This is your thickener.
– Okay, so we’re okay with that.
– Okay, the best to me are the black beans.
– How many?
– Two cans.
– Two cans of black beans in here.
– [Sharon] Mmm, that looks yummy. I think we got it all.
– Okay, so do we, you stir it, right? Like when you did it in the crock pot, you stir it in together. And I’m not a great cook. I’m learned though.
– You are learning.
– So growing up
– Why did you not always,
– Well, I was just asking, why did you not teach me to cook?
– Do you remember, I gave you a week to make out your own menu and for you to go to the kitchen and cook. I did that to Denise also. Who, Denise followed through. She did everything. She cooked our meals. She planned and she cooked. And then I think, you maybe, instead of five nights, maybe you did two. And it was probably macaroni and cheese.
– Maybe,but I’ve gotten better.
– You’ve done better.
– I’ve done better. You’ve helped me mom.
– [Sharon] Practice makes perfect, right.
– [Rachel] Right mom. So, I click meat, so I read and then I go up to an hour.
– Oh gosh, I cannot wait.
– Are you making fun of me and my Instant Pot?
– No, I love it. No, I’m gonna go buy one. Hey, Mother’s Day’s coming, right?
– Guess what I need?
– Okay. So, while this is cooking, actually our team put together a whole roast, everything in an Instant Pot and it’s finished so I’m so curious what it looks like cause it’s done now.
– Okay, so now I let the steam out.
– Be careful Rachel.
– No, don’t get near it.
– You make me nervous.
– I make myself nervous.
– Oh my gosh
– Are you gonna do it?
– Should you do it?
– No, you do it, it’s yours.
– I’m excited for you.
– Oh, yum, oh my goodness
– Oh, perfect. And apparently you can do this which is very fancy. It looks good
– Should we taste?
– Okay, will you take the forks and like shred it? Is it shredding?
– It’s falling apart.
– It is, okay. It’s a little watery. Is it usually that watery?
– No, not really. Maybe because it’s the first time, cause we’re not familiar with Instant Pot, you know? So, honestly, maybe if you didn’t put a whole cup of water, maybe a fourth of a cup?
– Okay, so do less water, note to self. But it smells good. Here, let me,
– It looks good too. Okay, let’s do this
– Get the shell, get the shell
– And we’ll do this, let me drain, alright.
– Yum, doesn’t it look good?
– Looks pretty good.
– What do you like on yours?
– I’ll do all of it, the cheese and the cilantro. That looks good. Here’s yours, you can probably get more
– I don’t know, well, I was just thinking did I put enough on mine?
– Looks like you did. Ooh, I got all the meat.
– It’s great, it’s great. Here, we’ll just take a quick test. Yeah, do you like the cheese and the cilantro?
– I do.
– Alright, Instant pot, let’s look
– This makes me a little nervous
– Is it gonna be hot? Mmm.
– Is it good?
– Real good. Little juicy. It’s good though.
– It is very good, Rachel.
– Well done Mom
– Good job.
– Thank you, good job to you
– Winston’ll be very proud.
– We went on an adventure, so I appreciate it. And hey, Happy Mother’s Day.
– Aw, thank you Rachel, you’re the best.
– You’re the best. So, if you want the recipe to this and mom’s famous homemade salsa recipe, cause it’s awesome
– It’s very good.
– It’s really good, so click the link in the description.
– Oh Mom, wasn’t that fun? She’s crazy. Okay, I have some friends here with me and I’ll tell you why, but when I was out on book tour, I had a chance to meet and talk with a lot of moms when I was launching “Love Your Life, Not Theirs”, and one of the I heard over and over again was that they feel like they didn’t have a sense of joy because they were caught in this comparison trap. Especially the mom comparison trap. Can I get an amen?
– Yes, we see it.
– It’s a real thing. But one of those is being, a working mom is like “oh, should I be staying home” or the stay-at-home mom’s like “oh should I be working” and it’s just this vicious cycle. So, I brought three of my best friends here who are doing mom life differently. So, I have one of my best friends from high school, Mary Ellen and she is a full-time stay at home mom, and one of my best friends from college, Cameron and so she works part-time and da-da-da-da, one of my working friends, we’ve worked together on video life
– Adult life friends, Christy Wright and she’s full-time working mom. Alright, so, Mary Ellen, what’s your favorite part about staying at home?
– I think my favorite part would be that I have been able to see them grow from being an infant-newborn at home to now he’s like two and a half and I’ve been able to see such a progression and so I haven’t missed any of those big things.
– Yeah, okay, so Christy as a full-time working mom, when you hear that, how does that make you feel?
– Well, I mean, I think there’s an emotional side of it where you like “oh, I do miss that.” I mean, there’s things I miss, there’s moments, whether it’s milestones or something silly and insignificant, but I think in life, the practical side of it is you can’t be everywhere. So, finding joy wherever you are, whether that’s at home full-time or working full-time or somewhere in between, has helped me cope with that. Because it’s real.
– Cause it’s hard.
– You can’t be everywhere.
– But I love that, cause it’s such an advantage though. I mean, like seriously, it’s such a gift. To be able to have that
– [Christy] Yeah.
– So, Cameron, for you, you were a full-time stay-at-home, and then you decided to do something part-time, just kind of recently, I guess, so tell me about that transition for you.
– Okay, so I had my two girls really close together,
– And how close together?
– So, they’re 16 months apart.
– Very close together
– Been there, been there.
– As time progressed, we realized I needed two pairs of shoes, and I needed two fall wardrobes for them,
– And car seats
– And car seats, yes.
– Like how expensive.
– Everything is. And food, they start eating more
– In that time, I found out I was pregnant with my third. And we realized oh, we need a bigger car. Just things like that, that are real necessities when you’re a growing family. And so, Paul and I were talking and we kind of just decided that if I could bring in X amount of dollars a month, and it wasn’t an unattainable amount, if I could do that, then we would have a little more cushion in our budget. Meanwhile, I’ve always had this passion and love for photography, but I wanted to see if I could make it something. Insecurity always took over. The comparison game truly was what kept me from wanting to jump into this business.
– Like what, from social media or peoples
– [Cameron] Yeah.
– Like photography websites that you’d seen?
– It was majority social media, honestly. So, I started real small and over the course of two and a half years, it has turned into this big business and I dedicate time every single day to it.
– With every mom, and ya’ll can probably attest to this, every mom’s a working mom, right. So, whether you’re at home or you’re outta home, you’re constantly working. So, for you being home full-time, do you have the feeling like the grass is greener on the other side? Do you ever have this itch to say “oh my gosh, I wish I was working.”
– Well, yeah, and I have friends, like you, that I feel balance the working life and not being a stay-at-home mom so well, so sometimes I’m like “man, maybe that would be a great thing “to try one day or anything.” Something like that. But I would say, yeah, the grass is always greener on the other side. If I traded it, would I regret that? I think God has you where you’re supposed to be.
– Okay, Christy.
– Full-time working mom. Okay, did you always know you wanted to work?
– No, it’s funny you say that because,
– I would’ve guessed yes.
– Okay, well,
– I thought you would say yes.
– Growing up, whatever you grow up with is kind of your normal, right? Like as a child, as a five year old, ten year old, whatever, that’s kind of what you expect out of life. And I had a mom that worked full-time because she was a single mom. So, that’s all I saw was a working mom. But, I also had a lot of friends and other people that had stay-at-home moms, so it makes you question, could I want that? Even, like our company, like you and I are in unique roles here, and when we set out to be on this path to be a Ramsey personality, they asked “are you in it for the long haul?” This isn’t like a two-year gig, this is our succession plan for our company. So, it makes you have these conversations of making that commitment even before I’d ever had a child. And so, I was going, “yes, I think I’m in it “for the long haul, but I also have never held my own baby.”
– Yes, Yes.
– And would that change me as a woman, so to your point, I really wrestled with that.
– Yeah, yeah
– For awhile. But, I think ultimately, it went back to, I love what Cameron talked about with loving photography, she’s really good by the way, can we talk about that? She did out family photos and like I want to wallpaper my house with them because their so good. Anyway, so she is very good. But I love how she talked about, I love how she talks about that she loves it because what I know about myself if I look at myself, I love to work. So, for me, it’s not something I have to do, For me, I’m very fortunate that I don’t have to work, but I choose and want to and you do wrestle with this guilt of like “does that make me a bad mom “and bad person that I would choose to spend time away from my children,” but I think it ultimately for me comes down to knowing what makes me a whole woman. And that is a piece of my life that is very important to me. So, for me, it was really understanding how I’m wired and understanding how I wanted to use my time. And one of the blessings we have that I want to point out is we’re not logging 60 hours a week. We have work-life balance so if I had to sacrifice all the time with my children, I’m not willing to do that.
– Absolutely, so for your balance, as working, cause you put all your hours together, it is 40 to 50 hour week, with your writing and everything. So, how do you balance it?
– For me, it’s a seasonal thing. Its unrealistic I think to expect in any industry or any stage of life that,
– Oh and we like to say life-balance is just crap. I don’t know if we can say crap on this show, but we’re saying it, because it’s not true. There’s not going to be this 50-50 split.
– You’re not going to have perfect spiritual time and physical time and family time and work time, I mean, it’s just not gonna happen on a day to day basis.
– No, and I talk about this all the time. I mean, even when I speak on this, it’s not doing everything for an equal amount of time, it’s about doing the right things at the right time. And then, obviously, I have a lot of help. My husband is such a supportive, I could never have done what I do with my work if he didn’t help me at home and so it really is a partnership and team in that sense.
– Amen to good husbands.
– We love ya.
– That’s so good. So, one thing that I feel like a lot of moms talk about, something that I hear that, I feel can be overrated these days, but it’s just still a true emotion that moms have, is mom-guilt. So, my question to you guys is do you have that? Do you feel mom-guilt?
– I think then that’s kind of reminds me of what Cameron was saying, but I think at times I don’t bring in any money, so, I literally am like “I’m the one who spends all of our money. I’m the one who grocery shops, so I feel like I’m always spending money and I’m not making any of it physically you know and so Drew just has to remind me, you know he’s like “But what you’re doing is worth something.”
– My mom-guilt is similar to I’m sure a lot of moms with multiple kids, but just dividing time. And a lot of it’s not even mom-guilt towards my kids, but it’s even my husband, by the time he comes home, I’m so tired and I’ll look back at a day and think “did I spend quality time with each one of my kids?” And a lot of days, it’s no. And I do think there’s grace for that, and it sounds like we all have awesome husbands cause Paul is really good at reassuring me that I’m doing my best.
– So what is the best piece of advice that either you heard before kids or even during kids, that you could give moms. I know for me, I had a mom tell me “To each it’s own” and you have to remember that. And I think we joked about this, even when I was registering, when we were just doing my stuff, it’s like “you got that stroller? “Oh no, you need this stroller. “You got that car seat? “Oh no, did you register there? “Don’t register there. “You need to register here.” And it’s like, oh my dear, goodness. It’s just like all these decisions, and that’s even before the baby comes. So, whether it’s nursing or bottle feeding or sleep training or not, like whatever it is, to each its own. And you kind of have to bite your tongue I’m sure at times, but that was what someone gave me and I love that, cause it kind of gives the freedom to love whoever’s in front of you where they are cause it’s what they chose. It’s the way they chose to do motherhood. So that’s the piece of advice I loved.
– I love it. A lot of my girlfriends have talked about this and their always saying something to the effect of you’re doing better than you think. And it really is just full of grace because even when you guys were talking about mom-guilt, you know I teach on this, and I still struggle with it, because we always teach them what we struggle with, right? I don’t talk about it because I’m perfect at it, I talk about it because it’s a daily struggle. But I feel like for me, a lot of the guilt comes from focusing on where I’m not. So, the opposite would also be true. Just being proud of what you did do. Being proud of how you did get through that day or you know, the contribution you made to your family, versus oh, I didn’t do this or this, I didn’t get to this part of the checklist. And so, my friend Ruthie, who you actually know, she was like “you’re doing better than you think.” So, always focusing on here’s what I did do. I may not have gotten to these things, there may be piles of laundry, I may not have brought in any money, or whatever, but here’s what I did do, and being proud of that, and it just gives you that grace to relax into that.
– That’s good, that’s really good.
– I am typically a people pleaser, and so I take a lot of what my friends are doing and think “oh I should be doing that,” kind of like what you were saying, and about a year and a half ago, I had a really wise mentor just say, you’ve gotta put your blinders on. What other people are doing, if it looks different for you, isn’t wrong, they’re not doing it wrong, you’re not doing it right, but you just have to put your blinders on and trust the lord and know that you are doing what you are called to do and that this is what’s best for your family.
– That’s so good.
– I think someone told me at one point just take it one day at a time. Like, especially in the beginning, when you’re just trying to keep an infant baby alive. So, just one day at a time. And then, trust your mother’s intuition, right. Trust yourself in the decisions you’re gonna make because that’s what you have to do, be confident in that.
– So good. Thanks you guys, thanks for coming.
– [Group] Yeah.
– Cause there’s all different perspectives and you moms watching, you’re all in different roles and you’re in different stages of life, and so hopefully you found some of this helpful and hopefully you have some great girlfriends like I do. So, yeah, thanks you guys.
– My wife’s a mother of six children. We hope that we do a good job making her feel special.
– [Group] Our mom’s matter.
– I just love having my friends on. I wish they were with me every day at work, it’s just so fun. So, whether you’re a stay-at-home or a working mom here are four things that every mom needs to do. Number one, find a group of girlfriends. You guys, find a group like what I have. It’s so important. And listen, your situations may be different, but make sure your values are the same. Number two, keep a gratitude journal. Number three, create a list of things that fuel you. Make a list of things that actually energize you versus drain you, like scrolling through Instagram all day or watching Netflix. And number four, make sure you have life insurance because if something happens to you, you have to replace that income. Now, speaking of income, speaking of money, let’s talk about saving up money. That’s right, it’s she works hard at saving money. Time to celebrate you and the work you’re doing. So, Megan says “saving for a trip “to London and Paris in May.” Pa-ree, well done Megan. Michelle says “right after Chrismtas, “we bought a 2017 Subaru Outback for cash.” Just under a year used, like it. Holly says “just paid cash “for a Scandinavian trip coming this summer. “This will be the first vacation “that financially doesn’t follow me home.” The freedom, I love it. Bridget says “paying cash for my husband “to go on a boys skiing trip to Vail.” Bridget, you’re very generous. Now, you guys, I love hearing the stories of moms saving up to do nice things for themselves and their families. So, don’t forget to post what you have saved for and make sure to use the hashtag, she works hard saving money, so we can celebrate your hard work with you. So, if you’re a mom, click the link in the description to lower your mom guilt and financial stress. And if you know a mom, send them this episode to make sure they know that they matter. Thanks again to Jennifer, my mom, and my friends who stopped by. Don’t forget we have a new episode coming up in two weeks that’s all about your home. Thanks again for watching and remember to take control of your money and create a life you love.