My sister Denise joins me on the vlog today to talk about parenting tips for new moms. She’s got one little boy and another baby on the way, so I know she’ll have great advice!
My number one piece of advice, the single best thing anyone ever said to me was….. Trust your mommy gut. It will never steer you wrong.
One thing that I had to learn the hard way and that I now give as advice is try to not compare your baby with others or your mothering strategies with other moms. Comparison is a joy stealer. Just because something works so perfectly for one family does not mean you are doing something wrong if it doesn’t work for your family. Yes, take advice and learn from other parents, I’m not saying its bad to learn from those who have been there, but don’t get down on yourself because what works for another mom doesn’t work for you. Find what fits your family’s personality and do that.
Perfect advice! Something I learned fast myself!
As silly as it might sound, but take a nap when baby naps. Also those first few weeks. Have a bathrobe handy. Even if you are dressed, if you aren’t feeling up to company staying a long time, throw on the robe before they come in. They should take the hint from that, that your aren’t up for long visits.
You are so blessed to have a sister to share the childrearing years with! The cousins will have a blast. Wish I had a sis.
When you first come home from the hospital, have your mom come to stay for about a week. Let her get up when the baby cries and bring her/him to you so you can just rest. That was a lifesaver for me. Plus it is just some sweet bonding time for all involved. So exciting!
I agree with putting you and your husband first! That’s something my husband and I failed to do (don’t worry, we’re fine), but it made things harder than they needed to be.
Do what YOU think is best, do whatever makes baby happy and helps you and Winston keep your sanity! (I.e. Swaddle, formula feed if nursing really doesn’t work first time around, use pacifier, go on walks, use baby carrier, etc) Everyone has plenty of advice to give, but do what works for you and baby and DON’T compare yourself or your baby to others or book babies!!! God sent this precious baby to you because you were the exact type of mom she needs! Just watch this uplifting message from three moms and you’ll understand ud83dude0a GOD BLESS! nnhttp://youtu.be/Q-syBkqelso
Rachel, My biggest hint would be to use your own instincts. If you don’t want to be one of those scheduling moms….Then it’s okay to have your own style of parenting different from those around you! I would also say that if you are breast feeding bring baby on your dates for the first six months. Babies sleep a great deal and you will have a wonderful date together. Remember when you are frustrated with the post baby body that you just birthed a baby and give yourself time to heal and adjust to life with a baby before you try and lose weight. Lastly….take a break from all of this publicity stuff….I know you love it AND it’s important to your career…BUT family first is not a just a saying….Take care of yourself and your baby and rest!!!!
Give yourself grace. There will be things to learn and figure out for you dad and baby. You don’t have to know it all as soon as you deliver because every baby is different! nAlso a nurse told me that babies mimick their mothers breathing so if you need to settle your little one take a few calm deep breathes with your baby on your chest. This totally worked for my son!
My mom came to stay with us and said, “I will care for your house, prepare the meals and answer the phone so that you can concentrate on your baby.” That was a real gift born of her understanding of how important it is for mother and baby to bond.
I agree about the schedule and I recommend you read “12 Hours in 12 Weeks” by Suzy Giordano (also called “The baby sleep solution)!nI followed a lot of what she recommends in her book with my first and she DID sleep 12 hours a night by the time she turned 12 weeks! It was wonderful! nOn the other hand, my second child was a tooootally different story bc she had really bad acid reflux for the first 6 months. She was a sporadic sleeper bc of pain and she would cry the entire car ride every time we went somewhere. We were stressed out to say the least! Her reflux finally got better around 7 months and she started sleeping all the way through the night around 10-11 months. nI just wanted to mention that bc I remember feeling like I was super mom with my first bc I felt her success in sleeping was all bc of what I did with her schedule when in reality it was thanks to her personality as well as God’s grace. nnAlso agree that date night is super important! I would just see how things go the first few weeks and when you feel you’ve got some sort of feeding/sleeping schedule down and you feel physically up to it then go for it! nIt can be hard to plan in advance with a newborn so hopefully a family member or someone you trust is close by and can stay with baby for a couple of hours while you and hubby go out!
I agree with all three things your sister shared. A schedule is so, so important. With both of my babies I gave us a lot of grace the first couple of weeks because it is such a huge change in your (and your husband’s and baby’s) life, but after that we started sticking to a schedule. Also, trust your instincts. You will doubt yourself often, but as someone once told me – YOU are your baby’s expert. Sure there are several baby experts out there and it’s great to follow their general guidelines and safety tips, but you will know your baby better than anyone! I love following you and your dad. Best of luck over the next few weeks!
Have a date night or two quick before the baby comes. Go to your favorite restaurant and go OUT to a movie. One of my favorite memories is our last date night before we were 3!
I read something because it was relevant to my son. I’m sharing because I think it applies to any parent (not just to parents of children with special needs). It was, by far, the best advice I ever received.nnn”When our son was diagnosed with autism, my husband and I were only a few months into our walk with Christ. I went through a little grieving period where I worried about whether he would make friends, or have a girlfriend, or play football in high school, or get married. I was so sad. My husband, God bless him, said to me, “Those are YOUR ideas of happiness. He doesn’t know about all those things, so let him find his own happiness.” It completely changed my perspective, and I have said those very same words to many other special needs parents.”nn~Bridget Shanahan Ferrara
It is totally okay to lay a baby who is perfectly okay, yet crying inconsolably, down in a safe place and walk away to clear your head. And competing with other moms is fruitless and frustrating. Every baby is so very different from each other.
Hold and snuggle your baby as much as you can. They are only that tiny and new for a little while so spend lots of time with them. I have never heard a mom or dad regret snuggling their newborn, but have heard plenty say that they wish they had spent more time with them and let other things go, like the house and cooking. Also, give yourself time to recover! Sloooowww and steady wins the race!;)
Denise is adorable! It’s so good to finally have a face to put with the name after all these years of listening to your dad! nYears ago someone told me not to sweat the small stuff with kids. No one will care how clean your house was in 18 years when your child gets into Harvard! Congrats on your new addition and thanks for all that you do!