There are certain money questions you should have answered before you walk down the aisle!
Rachel, I recently just took a huge pay cut because I am in the process of changing careers. As a result my budget is a lot tighter and the money for dating is low…almost virtually nothing. I want to keep meeting women and dating in the effort to find that special someone. Is there a way to explain my situation without sound like I want them to pay for the date or helpless? Is that the best way to ask the is question…hm sure. why not.
My significant other and I are very open about money. We still have our separate accounts and money because we are not married. However since we are both working on our debt snowballs we have budget meetings together, discuss purchases, and we usually have to both agree to purchase something even though it’s one person buying the item. This has worked well for us and we have never had money fights, we are both brutally honest about purchases whether we agree or disagree and we talk it out.
Boyfriend and I have been talking marriage quite a lot lately, planning for that to happen in the near future. We both fortunately come from financially wise families and therefore see eye-to-eye with money, but even still we want to start building a solid foundation in handling money together; on that note, we are actually going through Financial Peace University together right now! We have our separate budgets but work on them together, we’ve for awhile been open about our finances, we use our different strengths to balance each other out, and it’s been awesome! Helps make life that much easier.
My wife and I had the money conversation about 6 months into our relationship. It was a bit daunting at first because we had $50K in student loan debt and didn’t want student loans to control our life. We realized we could do so much more with $600 a month, so we built a plan to aggressively get out of debt. We are now debt free and plan on sending our kids to college w/o student loans. I only wish we would have learned about the baby steps sooner.
My fiance is a banker, so money is talked about daily between the two of us. We’ve had plenty of discussions about debt and we’ve decided we are cash-flowing everything except our house (which we’ll have a sizable down payment for after we get married). Even convinced him to pay off his car and not get a new one.
Wow did I need this! I’m not currently dating (due to this very issue actually), but my sister and I just had a discussion on this topic the other day because I am a huge Dave Ramsey follower, and am in Baby Steps 4,5, and 6 for myself. She thinks I’m crazy to want to be on the same page about money with any guy I would think about marrying and is like “it’s all about meeting in the middle”. While I agree, I still refuse to see all my hard-earned money go to support any “moocher” or just downright lazy person as I have dated several of them and they left me feeling insecure as to what my financial status would be if we were actually married or if they would even work. I did try to date them even though we saw things differently, but in the end, we could not reach any middle ground and ended the relationships. Thank you for confirming my thoughts on talking about money before marriage. It is a huge deal to me because of guys I have dated in my past, but I thought maybe I was crazy after she talked to me. I’m so glad to know I’m on the right track!
We’ve been married 26 years this month and we didn’t and still don’t talk about money. My husband is a cash and carry person so I do know that he does not have any credit card debt. His mother willed us her condo which is paid for so there is no house payments. He did buy a new car two years ago but no how much. I have no idea. Who holds the note? I have no clue. He trades the van in alone and picked this truck up on his own. I had a ton of debt when we met but through FPU that’s down to $8,000. He doesn’t ask and I don’t tell.We file our taxes separately. We have different accounts even though they are at the same bank I have no idea how much he has there or if it’s a checking or savings account. It’s a conversation we have never had and I have never had with any one that I have dated. It is a serious conversation that I wish I had the courage and words to have 30 years ago. Or 30 days ago. I have no memory of my parents discussing money so I don’t know what that looks like. The bad, bad news is we have two adult daughters and who knows what they know about money and dating. They do listen to your dad and follow his plan. What can I do to help them. Should I start with your book and website? I need/ We need help.n