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Real Life On A Budget

When Spouses Don’t Agree on Money

No marriage is perfect. If you’ve been married past the honeymoon phase, then you’re well aware of that.

Even in the romantic month of February, you’re bound to have a money argument or two. And if you’re like most couples, those “discussions” may very well be about money. Some of those disagreements can point back to our personality styles.

 Most spouses fall into one or two categories. We’re either a nerd or a free spirit. Sure, some people might have tendencies on both sides. But, for the most part, we lean one way or the other.

In relationships, don’t opposites always seem to attract? So when nerds and free spirits get married, they might find themselves in the middle of some interesting conversations, especially when one of them (probably the nerd!) decides to get serious about managing money and start dumping debt.

In a marriage, one spouse (i.e. the nerd) will be better at preparing the budget, but the decision-making needs to be done by both. Both of you should sit down together at the end of each month and talk about the next month’s budget. That’s your budget committee meeting—or “budget date night” if you prefer.

The key to living with each other is to simply realize that you both have a different way of thinking. The other person is not out to ruin all your fun or trash your financial goals. This isn’t a war. It’s a relationship. You’re in this together.

Related: Money & Marriage Event: A date night worth investing in.

Take the time each month to sit down and talk about your goals together. You’re both different for a reason, so use that to your advantage instead of letting it become a point of stress.

Talk. Communicate. Be open to each other’s opinions. If you’re the nerd, be willing to have a “blow money” category in your budget that allows the free spirit to have a little fun. If you’re the free spirit, be willing to rein in your spending.

If one person is making all the money decisions, you’re just setting yourself up for problems. That’s how a parent-child relationship is supposed to work, not a relationship between spouses.

I promise that this is doable. In fact, it’s the only way to win with money in a relationship. Nerds and free spirits must unite!


  • Tim Martin

    Well said Rachel 🙂

  • AMJ

    hey, I already do this. We must both listen to Dave Ramsey !! LOL